4 Weeks In. We're Still Standing.

September 29, 2013

10:51pm

Way to go! You've completed a whole month! How have you changed? What have you learned?

Well, now! You'da thought we completed the entire first year! I kind of feel like I did. I can't believe we completed a month! There were so many high points, and almost as many lows. But, I'm learning so much about myself and my son. One of the greatest lessons I'm learning is patience. One of Jay's scriptures from his Penmanship lesson a few weeks ago was Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." What wonderful news that is! I tell you, dear reader, it is so easy to pray to the Lord to ask Him for all of those wonderful things, but once you realize that He's already given it to you through the Holy Spirit, it makes you want to slap your forehead because of all the times you know you should've utilized those gifts. God literally gives us control of so much. It's really just up to us to ask Him how to use these gifts. Throughout this month, I've been asking Him every single day to help me. He's been with me every step of the way!

I've been dealing with some challenges; some new, and some I pretty much figured would come. Jay has an attitude! MY Jay! I never knew he had it in him. Needless to say, I was prepared for the first backlash. The boy has mouth...like his mama. Yeah, yeah, I know. But, there's a definitive line that Stephan and I had to draw, because Jay has crossed the respect boundaries a few times, and he paid dearly for it by getting (in the words of my California brother-in-law) molly-whopped. What's funny is that he only starts acting up when my mom is around. She's been here for a couple of weeks. We've had a blast with her and my mom-in-law. Good times. But, because of all the time Jay spent with her when we used to live with her, he looks at her like another mother, and not so much a grandmother. I don't mind it, really. I just am working hard to help Jay understand that I am his mother and what I say goes. It's been like that since we moved out of her house February, 2012. I guess in many ways I have myself to blame for not fully asserting myself as the CMO- Chief Mother Officer. When Jay was younger, I treated him more like a little brother than anything. I suppose I am really blessed, though. Jay is a really good kid. Stephan and I don't had any major problems out of him. He does what he's told, says "Excuse me", "Please", and "Thank you", respects other adults, and cleans up after himself (that's a bonus). He is truly eager to learn, try new things, creative, innovative, funny, and and possesses an insatiable desire to learn more about Jesus. Thank you, Lord.

So, there's that. Dealing with his new attitude. I'm also behind on my studying. I've been trying to keep up on my biblical studies every night, but it's been so difficult. I've started getting up with Stephan at 5:15am just to read a few chapters to start my day. Then, I'll try to read a few more after Jay's lessons. I've been doing all of this extra reading to try to catch up to the present date in my study journey. I'm still behind. It's been really tough, but I'm not giving up. I'm just going to keep on plugging at it. As long as I'm digesting The Word everyday, then I'm ok. 

There isn't too much more to say. God has been wonderful. Jay has learned so much. I've learned even more about him, myself, and the Lord. I'm eager to find out more over these next several months!

 Jay baked a homemade cheesecake for his baking lesson last Tuesday. 

 The finished product. Jay's first cheesecake. This looks better than the first one I ever made! 

Arts & Crafts Thursday. We put together a puzzle of the United States, courtesy of my Baltimore sister. This kid knows his geography! 

Way to go, pal! 

Having his science lesson with Daddy.

Distractions! Distractions! All Around!

September 19, 2013

11:18am

Still having trouble focusing, eh?

Yeah, but Jay has a lot going on around him at the moment. My mother and mother-in-law flew into town the other day. While we are beyond thrilled to have them here visiting, it creates an additional challenge for Jay when it comes to focusing. Yesterday, Jay spent an hour and a half on an assignment that I only allotted 55 minutes for, and he still didn't finish. I told him that he owes me time Saturday morning, seeing as I don't like for him to move onto another lesson without mastering the previous lesson. I've been trying to be lenient on him, considering my mother is his favorite person in the world and all he wants to do is be around her. I'll work straight through the planned lessons so he can spend the majority of the day with his grandmothers. He just wastes sooo muuuuch tiiiime! 

The Lord has given us all that we, as believers, need to get through this life by way of the Holy Spirit, so I'm well equipped with patience. It's just been though, because I've had to practice some serious patience with him. So many times, I just want to punch him in the head, because he's staring off somewhere and not focusing on his work. But, thank the Lord for restraint! And, get this. Jay catches attitudes with me! If you ever met my kid, you'll see that he will get upset, frustrated, and sad, but he's not typically smart-mouthed. I had to correct his little tail a few times since my mom has been here. He's gets big in the britches whenever he's around her, so I'll say in my most sinister voice, low enough for only him to hear, that Gwa-Gwa will have to return home sooner or later. Try me if you want to, homie! Muahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

I'm trying to maintain my composure. It's incredibly difficult. Children truly do feel that they know it all and that they can do it all. So, when an adult tries to help them correct their obvious mistakes, they want to get upset with the adult! It's been like that for the past several days. I want to give up so bad, but how would the Lord be glorified in my giving up? I'm so thankful to have Him to lean on and to draw my strength from, because I can't do this on my own. Nothing in this life is ever meant to do on our own. If it was, then Jesus wouldn't have had the need to die for us! 

Keep pressing forward.

Look what I found next to Jay's foot!!! My mom killed it. I was too petrified. *Lol*

When in doubt, don't doubt!

September 16, 2013

3:17pm

How much confidence do you have in your son?

More today than I did last week, that's for sure. Last week was full of highs and lows-mostly lows. Jay's focused was way off and my patience was wearing thin. It seemed like Jay wasn't getting anything I was teaching. I keep forgetting that six-year-olds still have short attention spans. I was talking to Stephan last night about this week's lessons. Jay had a math test today, and I was expressing serious doubt as to whether he could complete it own his own and answer every question correctly. Please don't mistake my doubts for lack of confidence in my child. OK, so there was a little lack of confidence, but it was coming from a place where I know of Jay's strengths and areas of opportunity. Focus is a HUGE area of opportunity for Jay. Welp, long story short, the little guy proved me wrong:

I had every intention of going over each section one at a time with Jay. But, once he got started, he kept on going without me! I guess as parents, we overlook all the wonderful things about our kids, because we're so busy looking at their imperfections. What an unfair thing to do, especially considering that the Heavenly Father overlooks His children's imperfections and forgives us of all the sickening things we do. Christ had the confidence that His people WILL prosper and overcome sin through Him. That's why he left us with the Holy Spirit! 

I know better, now. Jay makes mistakes. But, given an opportunity to give his all, I know he'll provide A+ results every time.

Real Parents Have More Than One Child

September 10, 2013

12:06pm

How do you handle having a baby while homeschooling a school-aged child?

Who knows? *Lol* I remember when Jay was little. We had, one day, came in from grocery shopping. He was about two years old and we were living in Maryland with my mom. Like all two year olds, he was active and into everything. I left him in the living room to put away all the groceries in the adjoining kitchen. Well, dummy me, I accidentally left a bag that had toothpaste in the living room. Jay had found that bag, opened up the toothpaste, and created his masterpiece right on my mother's carpet! I detected the faint smell of Colgatey-minty freshness and walked into the living room to see my child covered from head to toe in toothpaste.

Now, let's analyze this Bill Cosby-style. 

Tell 'em, Bill. Fortunately, my children are spaced out in age. They are 5 1/2 years apart. I can tell who did what according to the damage something has sustained. Madison is the Godzilla between the two. Jay tries to be a bit more subtle in his destruction. A small piece of something will be missing or broken off, and we don't realize it until much later, making it difficult to discipline that kid, because he doesn't even remember it happening! Every now and then, we do get the "Maddy did it!". So, Stephan and I will look at her and she's just grinning away. It's not NOT to smile back, so we end up punishing both children. *Lol* We're so mean. And it's fun. :-D 

I have to keep Madison busy while I'm teaching, though. When I get up in the morning, I get her up, too, so she'll be sleep by the time we get to the second lesson of the day. When she's up, she's terrorizing everything. I can't put her in her pack 'in' play, because she'll start fussing. So, I just have to let her crawl around on the floor. That's not so bad until shes knocking over the easel holding the dry-erase board. Like I said. Terrorize. Thankfully, I've become a pretty decent multitasker since having another child, so everyday I'm getting better at juggling teaching Jay and entertaining Madison. 

Anyway, back to our lessons. Penmanship next, and baking last. Here's something for you, moms and dads. When you are having a hard time finding a quick and tasty snack for the kiddies, corn dog muffins are a win every time. Just use a box of Jiffy cornbread mix. Prepare as instructed. Divide the batter into a well-greased muffin pan, and drop cut up pieces of uncooked hot dogs in each section. Bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes, let cool, and enjoy!    

Perfectionism...at its worse

September 9, 2013

11:41am

How do you keep your slight case of OCD in check while homeschooling?

Unfortunately, I can't. Throughout the day, I'm constantly cleaning, picking up after the kids, wiping down the board until I can't see anymore dried up flakes of dry-erase ink...the works. In my working space, I like order. I like for things to be presentable and neat. It doesn't get in the way of my parenting, though. I have a six-year-old and an almost-one-year-old. They're going to be messy at times. And, by nature, I'm a junky person, so I get it. I'm just glad that whatever slight compulsiveness I have doesn't not interfere.

Jay, on the other hand, has a slight case of perfectionism. He gets so frustrated when he messes up on a writing assignment, and will wear an eraser down to nothing. I have to remind him that we're still at the beginning of our lessons, and that with time and lots of practice, he'll get it down. He had a spelling pre-test today, just to see where he's at with his knowledge of the given words, and the kid almost had a nervous breakdown because he couldn't spell a word! I felt so bad for him. So, I told him to calm down, say the word slowly, think about all the sounds he heard in the word, and write down the corresponding letters. He wasn't even that far off!

He also has a hard time remaining focus. His former teachers were correct in that diagnosis. There isn't much room for independent study...for now. I don't fault him, though. He's six. I don't expect for him to stay focused the way an adult would. Heck, most adults have a hard time focusing. I'm 27, and...SQUIRREL!

Where was I...oh, yeah. Focusing. You get me. 

The Best Is Yet To Come!

September 7, 2013

9:51am

You want to give up don't you? Don't you?

As I reflect on this past week, I can't help but to be in a state of praise. The Lord has been SO good to my family! So many emotions were felt this week. Let me share a few words of encouragement, reader. If you are a self-professed Christian, and you're not in the word of God, get in it! Starting this new journey with my family was not easy. The old Anesha would've quit after a couple of days in. The old Anesha would have yelled and ridiculed Jay for not understanding a lesson (Yes. I was awful). But, having a relationship with Christ made all the difference in the world. The Lord has changed me. He's prepared me for this. I couldn't understand why I had been going through all these changes, but it all makes sense now.

Next week, we're upping the ante. We will no longer be reviewing lessons he learned in kindergarten. We're headed into  actually first grade work now! Dun dun DUUUUNNNNN! So pray for us, if you don't mind. I'm praying that this will be a productive week. I pray that Jay will learn and retain everything I teach him, and I learn how to properly utilize the patience the Lord has already placed in me.

Monday, September 8th- Day 5.   

The Power In a Cup of Coffee

September 5, 2013

1:30pm

Are you still feeling irritated?

In my previous post, I was feeling a bit blah. There's no logical explanation other than the fact that I'm human. I make mistakes and I have mood swings. Does this excuse my behavior with Jay? Not at all. But, I do recognize that I'll have those days in which I just don't want to do anything. But, then I had a cup of coffee at noon. Not like I normally do at 7:30am. The moment I took that first sip of that French Roasted brew, it got me thinking. Life before this week was pretty straightforward. I was a wife and mom. I handled my wifely duties, while raising my children. In no way, shape, or form was it easy, but I had a pretty good grasp on it. Now, I'm a teacher. A full-time teacher. Deuteronomy 6 says that we are to teach our children at home, while walking outside, going to the grocery store, etc. Yes, I know I'm speaking a bit out of context. In this chapter, Moses is speaking to the new Israelites about the laws and decrees the Lord has given them to follow. Moses is instructing them to teach these commandments to their children "so that we might always prosper and be kept alive". (Deut. 6:24) To me, this means that I need to teach Jay and Madison all that they need to know in order to understand who the Lord is, what He is truly about, what He wants for us, and all that He has already blessed us with. 

My coffee mug. Birthday gift from mom. I love the pun in this, considering I love Marvel comics and my husband wears an Army uniform everyday to work. ;-)

What a burdensome task I've been given. Scary, even. I'd like to think that all I'll ever need to concern myself with is me and my thoughts and actions, but how selfish would that be? Jesus never complained once when He was on that cross. And He gave His life for the trillions of sinners that would come AFTER His time! Could any of us, today, make such a sacrifice? For people like Hitler? Bin Laden? Or even Walt Disney, with his alleged racist self? Absolutely not. But, the least I can do is educate my children. One of Jay's lessons helped me to remember that. The scripture for that lesson is my favorite scripture: Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." That's what it's about. The Lord said "If you love me, keep my commandments". (John 14:15) And, I love Him. I love Him more than I love my children and husband. He's the one who blessed me with my family. There would be no Berry family had it not been for the Lord. 

As I finished my cup of coffee and gave thought to all that I've been blessed with, I was in a much better mood. I've been in prayer all day long, asking the Lord to forgive me for my attitude and to help me work through it. I know that He's answered all of my prayers, because things could've been so much worse. Jay completed all of his assignments within the allotted time frame and followed all of my instructions. The bit of frustration he demonstrated was in response to me. I'm just glad that Jay's learning didn't suffer because of me. That's the power of the Lord's grace! We even wrapped up our day with Arts & Crafts. We made homemade pinwheels! They don't spin though. I had to use straws instead of the dowels the instructions said to use. And because the pushpin went right through the straw, we have to tape the back so we won't prick our fingers. Eh, whatever. We make good use of what we have here! *Lol*

Now, pardon me while I refill my coffee mug...   

Ugh...

September 5, 2013

11:01am

Was today as productive and exciting as the previous days?

Well, it definitely didn't start off ok. Jay was seriously getting on my nerves. I know I said in previous blogs that the kid needs to be able to move and play around a bit in order to feel comfortable, but the adult in me was not trying to deal with all of that today. But, that's the problem with most school officials. It's not the child. It's the adult. We lose our patience when a child "does not cooperate" or meet unrealistic expectations we set for them. Granted, Jay does have to abide by mine and Stephan's rules. But, it'll do me well to remember that the boy is six. I have twenty-one years of life and experience on him and I cannot expect for him to meet me at my level every time. Honestly, at twenty-one years old, I wasn't too far ahead of him in maturity!

In spite of my morning irritation at...I don't know...everything...I've been in constant prayer. Jay had his moments where he'd space out, but I gotta hand it to him. He completed all of his assignments with plenty of time to spare. He still gave me great insight on some of the lessons. And he followed every instruction. The day isn't over, and there's plenty of time for everything to improve, including my attitude. It's still a good day!

One of my homemade sock puppets for our Health lesson in uniqueness. Her name is Terry, and those Atlanta and Baltimore woman ain't got nothin' on her hair!

We All Have Our Days...

September 4, 2013

2:07pm

Was today as great as yesterday was?

Not as great, but definitely not bad. Jay seemed to be a little less interested in today's lessons. But, it's ok! I don't expect everyday to be as awesome as his first day. Stephan and I noticed something about him. Jay functions so much better when he's standing up, shifting in his chair, and fiddling with his pencil. He is a lot more focused when he's busy doing something. He pays attention to the lesson, retains the information, and has tons of insight to contribute. His teachers in public school really didn't give Jay the chance to be...Jay. 

What a bright child Jay is. I knew he was smart, but I had no idea just how smart! Between today and yesterday, Jay demonstrated the exact opposite of what his former teachers used to say about him. I almost feel like I want to march right in that school and shout "YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM A CHANCE!" But, what opportunity is any child given when they're constantly being told "Sit down and be quiet"? I remember when I was in the second grade, Mrs. Colby (a witch of a woman) put me out in the hallway for leaning over to quietly ask my classmate to loan me a sheet of tablet paper. I felt so misunderstood and immediately labeled. Kind of like the scene from the first Harry Potter movie when Harry was taking notes on Professor Snape's opening lecture, and the Professor mistook Harry for not paying attention. He had him "pegged" from that point on. It's hard to shake the prejudice off. Once someone has their mind made up about you, it seems you have to fight tooth and nail to get them to see otherwise. No one wanted to try to understand Jay. Well, with the exception of one teacher, Mrs. Erb. She turned out to be pretty cool. It was just difficult for her to let him do his thing when she had 25 other children in her class. Jay's a visual learner and a doer. Very hands-on and enjoys action. It helps me, because I'm able to gear my lessons toward his preferred style.

Sorry, folks. I'm so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open to type! I'll continue tomorrow. For your viewing pleasure here is a self-portrait of Jay. I expect it'll be worth millions in about 10 years, so I don't mind not receiving monetary compensation for my efforts...for now. *Lol*

What A Day!!!

September 3, 2013

7:17pm

So, how'd it go?

SEND HIM BACK TO PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!!!! Ha! Psych! Folks, I just want to shout to the Lord!!! What a mighty God we serve!!!!!!! Today was such a wonderful day! The Lord moved through this little house! I have NEVER seen my son the way I saw him today! I have NEVER had the patience before that I had with him today! It was a stress-free day, filled with tons of learning! I had no idea that Jay was so insightful! I was so taken aback at his intelligence that I started crying when I told California sister about it! What a major blessing this has been, and it's only the beginning!

I didn't get much sleep last night, considering how excited and nervous I was. I was up about 5am, and the kids woke up not too long after me. We were ahead of schedule, as we were all dressed and downstairs eating breakfast by 7am. Promptly at 7:30, Jay and I were in the living room, holding hands, and saying our morning prayer. We started our Phonics & Reading lesson discussing short vowel sounds. We had such a good time with that lesson! Jay paid full attention to everything I was saying and answered every question correctly. The activity was completed in a timely manner-with time to spare- and before we knew it, it was break time. 

Jay had five minutes to transition and get his Spelling and Vocabulary books. I started the lesson by saying the ten words for this week while he wrote them down. He spelled every word correctly! By the middle of the lesson, we both were getting tired and Madison had awaken from her nap. We finished up the lesson early, so I told Jay to lay down on the couch to rest a bit while I nursed Mad and prepared for the next lesson. Five minutes before math began, I turned on some Daft Punk, got Jay up, and we danced a bit to give us a boost of energy. Oh, boy, did he love that! I gave him a snack, and we got right to work!

After math, Jay ate his lunch, played outside for a half an hour (for those who know me, you already know I can't stand going outside, but I endured it for him. lol), and came back inside to prepare for penmanship. What a blessing that lesson turned out to be! Each week has a theme scripture, and although the student won't actually be writing scriptures until about week seven, it encourages you to discuss the scripture. This weeks lesson happens to be the scripture I pretty much chose to live my life according to: Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." We dissected that scripture and Jay gave such wonderful insight to what that scripture means to him!

We drew circles in the air and on the white board to prepare for properly writing manuscript. After penmanship, we started what was unanimously voted as our favorite part of the day: baking! I'm so glad that I developed a love for baking since moving to Texas. What a great way to incorporate math, science, and safety lessons! Jay had such a great time!

When Stephan came home, he and Jay got started on their 15-minute lesson on plant life. Stephan used the one plant that has not died on me to demonstrate what plants need, the parts of a plant, and other cool little factoids that I never knew. They watched a short video online that went into detail, too. Jay must've really enjoyed having Professor Daddy as his teacher, because that's all he talked about during dinner! 

It was an overall awesome day! I thank the Lord for blessing mine and Stephan's efforts in teaching our son. I just pray that the Lord will continue to bless our family and that Jay will continue to blossom before our very eyes!

Socializing, Schmotializing...

September 1, 2013

10:02am

What about socialization skills?

Bah, humbug! If I get asked this question one more time, my head just may explode! However, I do understand why so many people ask that question. I, briefly, thought about that when I first heard about homeschooling, too. I can remember the days of my parents being contacted by my teachers and principals, or receiving letters from them, about how much I ran my mouth in class. And I talked A LOT! The last thing that was on my mind was that fact that I had less than a week to work on my project that was assigned a month ago and I hadn't even read the instructions. I was gossiping, and laughing, and trying to get the attention of that cute boy in Mrs. So-and-So's class. Once I got to high school, I was so far gone down the social pathway, that I only did the bare-minimum just to get through! I was a star in the biggest organization in the school: The New Millennium Jaguar Marching Band of Charles Herbert Flowers High School in Springdale, Maryland. I started off auditioning for the majorettes (following California sister's and my paternal grandmother's footsteps), but I didn't have the skill. Thankfully, my marching and drilling were so on point, that my band director decided to keep me as a banner girl! Wooo! Lol Eventually, I got tired of the chick who co-banner girl, so I searched for a new position. That's when I re-discovered the trumpet.

I had played in the fourth grade, but you know how it is when you're a child. You want to do a thousand different activities, but you aren't truly passionate about it until you get older. Once I picked up that brass horn, I never looked back. I practiced and practiced, learned to read music, and literally became one of the best players within a few short months. My band director once told me that he had never seen someone master playing an instrument in such short time. That became my focus. Band became my focus. I only tolerated my other classes and performed well enough to make the grades to participate in band. Like I said, I was a star! I had solos, where I'd stand in front of the rest of the band as they marched down the field, I was first chair, was selected two years in a row to perform in the All-County Band, the underclassmen would look up to me, and my best friends were the most popular and skilled musicians in the school! Life did not get any better than this! But, the price of fame came very high. My grades suffered. My teachers were not impressed with me. And, at times, I wasn't even sure I was going to graduate with my class. Thankfully, I did. But, it certainly was touch and go!

I used to think that there wasn't much beyond high school. I tried my hardest to live it up, because I just knew that once I became an adult life would be all work and no play. Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now...and still have those thighs! I wasted so much time by focusing on the wrong things. Socializing was all I was concerned with. I didn't think it meant much to concentrate on my studies then. Who knows where I would've been had I had that sort of work ethic? Maybe I would've graduated from Hampton. Maybe I would've had a pretty decent career. It doesn't make a difference now, because now I'm where the Lord wants for me to be. 

Most parents that I know want their children to learn from their mistakes, including me. It's not because we are insufferable know-it-alls (although I tend to be sometimes); it's just that we want the best for our children. I want for Jay and Madison to have an iron-clad plan when they are ready to graduate. Military, working full-time, college, etc. As long as they have a plan and they follow it through. I understand mistakes are made. Stephan and I will be the first ones to tell you of the mistakes we made. But, the Lord has a plan for us all. Either we remain in alignment with His word, or we struggle and fail over and over again, the latter because the more likely (we are so hard-headed!). 

I want to teach Jay the word of God. I want him to understand why God is so holy and why we should revere Him. I want to teach him the value of education and hard work and focus. When people ask me "What about socialization skills?" I respond by saying "Have you actually met my son?" Lol Jay is the most outgoing and extroverted six-year-old I have ever met! He'll say hello to just about everyone who passes him in the street. And the boy can strike up a conversation with anyone who'll listen. People are so intrigued by him. He's engaging and funny! He has a few very good friends between Texas and Maryland. I'd rather Jay cultivate those relationships with those few kids then to have 30 superficial friendships with the kids he happens to have a class with. So, the argument of placing my child in a public school setting goes out the window. Jay's focus should be, and will be, on his studies first. There will be plenty of time to socialize, but not when it comes to his education. Nobody else is going to learn and retain this information except him. Besides, you can't put "socialization skills" on a resume!