Preparedness? Huh?

August 27, 2013

12:31pm

So, what does one have to do to prepare for homeschooling?

That question could be answered in many ways. Stephan and I made up our minds back in April that we were going to do this. To mentally prepare for this, as well as gather the material, plan lessons, transform the back of our living, and the like took about five months. Sure, we could've knocked all of that out in about a month's time, but the spiritual and mental preparation took up much of that time. 

Stephan is the only one who brings in monetary income in the house. At one point in our marriage, we had decided together that I would take 2012 off from work and school so I could focus on my pregnancy, being mom, and settling into our new duty station. That was my job. But, like so many other unforeseen circumstances, things changed. 2013 entered, and I was still a stay-at-home-mom. Once we decided to homeschool, we knew that Stephan would permanently be the sole provider in the house. It was a difficult pill to swallow for the both of us, because at any given moment, Stephan could become stressed out, demand I go back, lose his job, or go through something else devastating. We realized this. We prayed on it. Every night before I go to bed, I pray for him. This life assignment he was tasked with can't be done by the faint of heart. I also prayed for our marriage. By me putting 90% of my entire focus in our children, my marriage is bound to face its trials. And the fact that we placed the Lord at the helm is cause enough for the enemy to try to attack us at every angle. I say "Bring it on", because NOTHING is too big for my God to handle!

Over the past several months, we've had conversations with Jay helping him to understand that he will not be going back to public school. It was tough for him once he realized he wouldn't be returning. But, Jay is such a remarkable child. He handles change better than most adults I know. He's moved more times by the age of six than most adults move in their lifetime; he's changed daycare and schools; had to say "goodbye" to his family and friends in Maryland to come down here in Texas; and now he's facing this. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if we were like some other families where there are two working parents, the children attend public school, and they are raised in the same house from birth. But, I see why the Lord has blessed Turk (that's my nickname for him) with certain characteristics. He can really handle these kinds of changes. We still see that some changes are hard, so we work with him. He helped me plan out his school schedule, picked out certain materials that he would like to see in his "classroom", and even helped me decorate his classroom. The kid is pretty awesome. He overly-active sister is, too. It's a good thing that they are spaced out five and a half years, because they required attention that differs. Madison has the basic necessities for an almost-year-old. Jay is more extensive, considering this critical learning time in his life. 

The curriculum itself wasn't the difficult to choose. California sister had researched it, and I go with what she decides (as it pertains to her and her family) about 90% of the time. *LoL* What can I say? The woman is very wise and researches EVERYTHING. But, for the sake of having my own knowledge on the matter, I checked out different course material. We decided on Horizons from Alpha and Omega Publishing Company. Good stuff. Very good stuff. Straightforward, self-explanatory, and thorough. It was easy planning our daily lessons, because they basically do all the planning for you! It's just a matter of designing a syllabus for yourself, or going online to find a template, and filling it in. It was a bit time-consuming for me, because I planned out each day. Seven subjects. Roughly 160 lessons. You do the math. So far, September through December are planned out in their entirety. I'll have the second semester planned out by Thanksgiving break. 

Bet you're wondering what Jay will be learning, huh? I'll show you his schedule for kicks.

700		Wake-up
		Brush teeth
		Make bed
		Get dressed
730		Eat breakfast
745		Morning prayer/preparations
800		Warm-Up (Journal Entry)
815		Phonics & Reading
910		Break
915		Spelling and Vocabulary
1010		Break
1015		Math
1130		Lunch
1200		Outside Activity
1230		Come in/wash hands
1235		Penmanship
1255		Health (M/W)/Arts & Crafts (Th)/Bible Story Hour (F)
1345		Snack
1440		Afternoon prayer/Clean-up
1455		Chores

Throw in Stephan's 15-minute science and computer lessons when he gets home from work, and there you go. At this point, we are all set for next week! We are all very excited. Do me a favor, will ya? Pray for us! We'll need all the prayers we can get!

Anniversary #2

August 26, 2013

1:30am

What kind of example do I want to be for my children?

I ask myself that all the time. A high school classmate had posed a question on her Facebook page a few months ago asking mothers of sons if they were the kind of woman they would want their sons to marry. Well, Miss High & Mighty Anesha scoffed and typed all this drivel about how I'm a God-fearing, good-looking, finance-maintaining, cooking, super-mom, blah, blah, blah. As soon as I hit "Enter" to submit my post, I immediately regretted it. I painstakingly reread each words that was dripping in pomposity. I was convicted. The Holy Spirit called me out. I submitted another post identifying how arrogant that sounded, and how the Lord is the one who receives the glory for how far I came. Not me. That post received like five "Likes". *LoL* Folks just knew that I was wrong! It's true, though. I have come a mighty long way. It seems like I've made so many mistakes from the moment I turned eighteen. It's nothing short of a miracle I'm not dead. The bible tells us that if we are going to boast, then boast about the Lord and all the marvelous works He's done (1 Cor. 1:31). Indulge me for a sec', will ya?

Today is my two-year anniversary to the most amazing man I have ever met. My husband, Stephan, is TheBomb.com.org.edu.mil.gov, OK?! I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, but in the interest of time, I'll just say he gets me. The Lord molded us to fit perfectly together. I learn so much from Stephan. He encourages me to do better and be better. And he LOVES the Lord! He loves the Lord so much, that all he wants to do is honor Him in everything he does. When Jay looks at Stephan, he's looking at a man of God. He looks at an example of how a man of God is the spiritual leader of his household. He sees how this man of God protects and provides and gives back to the Lord. He sees how Stephan falls to his knees to pray to the Lord and study His word. He sees how this man treats his wife. How he loves and respects her. He protects her virtue and never calls her outside her name. Jay sees how he disciplines his children with firmness and, above all, love. This man works hard and spends time with his family.

Madison will look at her daddy like he's her first love. She will see how a man should treat her. How he should love and protect her. She will see how he values her mommy and treats her like a lady. And how he is devoted to her, forsaking all others. Madison will also see how her daddy teaches her about self-worth and how her body is the Lord's temple and that no man shall defile it. She'll listen to daddy tell her that only a man who is willing to make her his wife will be truly worth her love. As for me, well...

It took me a while to figure out what I want Jay and Mad to learn from me, but I think I got it. I want them to learn that yes, they will make mistakes. But, it is important not to fall victim to their mistakes. The bible says in Ezekiel chapter 18 that "...if a wicked man turns away from all the sins he has committed and keeps all [the Lord's] decrees and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die." We all fall short of the Lord's commandments. We lie, blaspheme, steal, kill, lust after one another; we do all sorts of mess. Lord knows I have done it all. But, there is power in the name of Jesus Christ! Selah! We can do anything through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13)!

With that said, it is my prayer that the Lord allows for my children to understand how the Lord renewed me and is using me to do His will. What a blessing the Lord has been to me! 

One week away...

August 25, 2013

9:32pm

Why did I choose to homeschool?

That's what some people would like to know. Sometimes I just want to say "Because I want to, suckaaaaaaa!" But, that wouldn't be appropriate. It all goes back to when I found out I was pregnant with that chocolate-coated, peanut-headed little guy. I was twenty. Old enough to know a thing, or two, but young enough not to know squat. I remember leaving the doctor's office, and dialing my mother's number on my cell phone, excited to give her the news that I was carrying the first boy that would be born to our family. It wasn't until a week later when it occurred to me that I was carrying a boy. A BLACK boy. Black boys are cute until they turn three or four. Then they become rambunctious. They go off to school. They always seem hyperactive and inattentive. Their teachers and principals complain to their parents (or in most cases, their single moms) about their behavior and recommend being placed on medication. After six or seven years of zombification due to the medication, the dosage it increased and the effects backfire. Then these black boys become angry. They hang out with the local hoodlums, desperate for the male guidance that they don't receive at home. They are eager for the love and attention they seek from their mothers that work 16 hour shifts just to barely make rent. Instead, they're drawn to the callousness and coldness of the streets. They drop out of school once they realize they can make a couple of bucks pushing five grams here and there. They are so caught up in the hustle that they don't realize they are literally drowning in their sins. These coffee-colored boys turn nineteen. They are "men". They hate the world, because they feel that the world has turned its back on them. They lie, cheat, steal, and kill just to make it to the next day. Eventually, another angry black boy who is a product of their environment rises up. They kill their predecessors. The cycle continues. And just like that, the black male population becomes an endangered species.

All of this. All of this was racing through my mind. I remember saying to the Lord "Dear God, why? Why did you choose me to bear this load? I cannot be responsible for such a person!" I called my mother crying, because I didn't know what to do. It had stayed on my mind for the remaining nineteen weeks of pregnancy. But, then, a feeling that I had never felt before overcame me. It happened on the evening of February 26, 2007. My darling, my prince, my son came into this world. 8 lbs, 4 oz. Just like his mama when she was born. He was beautiful! The tips of his ears were a dark mahogany, indicating that he'd be as smooth and dark as the night sky. He was gorgeous. And he was mine. My Lord and Savior chose ME to raise this child. What an honor!

The first few years of his life were full of all kinds of changes, and when I think about it, I'm thankful they occurred when he was young. His biological father and I divorced; we moved back to my mother's house in Maryland; I worked at several different places; he went from babysitter to babysitter. There were times in which I couldn't wait to drop him off. Don't get me wrong, but like so many other single mothers, I was ready to "do my thing". I would leave him with my mom a lot. Even when I was at home, I'd ask her to watch him just so I could get some time to myself.

January, 2012 came. I chose salvation through Christ (or rather, the Lord had chosen me) three years earlier. I was five months into my new marriage and a couple of weeks pregnant with a new baby. Jay was in pre-k at the local elementary school. My sister was visiting with her baby daughter from California. She had been there for a few weeks and was able to observe my patterns with Jay. Needless to say, she wasn't happy with the way things were going with me. She lovingly sat down with me and we engaged in what was probably the most difficult conversation I had ever had in my life up to that point. Without getting into too much detail about what was said, she helped me to realize that I wasn't parenting in a way that was honoring to the Lord and that Jay would benefit from. At that moment, I decided to make a change. I helped Jay with his homework, prepared healthier meals, sang to him at night, and cut back on how much I fussed with him over trivial things.

After Stephan received his orders to his new duty station, we all packed up and moved to Fort Hood, Texas. Before we knew it, our baby was in kindergarten. Immediately, we received complaints from his teacher that he was inattentive, needed constant redirecting, and was overall unfocused. Throughout the year, we attended parent-teacher meeting after parent-teacher meeting, made changes at home, rewarded him when he had done well, and punished when he misbehaved. It was exhausting trying to keep home-Jay and school-Jay on one accord. Nothing seemed to be working. We agreed to have Jay evaluated for autism. We just knew that he wouldn't be diagnosed, because autism covers an array of symptoms. Honestly, one could say that I'm autistic the way I choose to be a recluse and am OK with staying inside the house all day. Whatever. Well, the test results came back, and lo and behold. Jay was autistic...according to the assessment.

I fell on my knees in prayer, because this was the very thing that I feared when I found out I was pregnant with a boy. My son, from here on out, was going to be labeled. He teachers would treat him accordingly. Expectations would be lowered. He was "special". Don't get me wrong. There are many special needs children who genuinely need special attention and education. But, we know our son. We know what he needs. All Jay needs is a stern voice, lots of love, and a swift kick to the backside. Once again, big sister, California, suggested homeschooling. Initially, I didn't want to consider it, but after that diagnosis, it became a greater topic of discussion. Then I did the research. Turns out, statistically, homeschooled children perform much better than their public-schooled counterparts. In the state of Texas, homeschooling is a really big deal. Stephan and I went into prayer together, I cracked open my bible to receive word from the Lord, and the rest, as they say, is history.

"Anesha, I didn't ask for an extended background on how crummy of a parent you were. Tell me why are you homeschooling in as few words as possible." OK. Simply, it's because I love my son. He is a gift. There is no one on this earth who has most of an interest in his development (spiritually, educationally, physically, mentally) than I do. On top of all of that, I love the Lord. I love my Savior so much, that everything I do, I do for him, and not for my fellow man (Col. 3:23). The Lord deserves my best efforts. That includes how I parent. He GAVE me Jay and Madison. I'm simply giving them back to Him.

A New Chapter

Thursday, September 22, 2013

4:38 AM

Why am I awake?

Easy. My 11-month-old daughter, Madison, decided it would be a good time to wake Mommy up. She's asleep now, of course. It's all good and well, I guess. While everyone is asleep, I get some "me" time in. Usually, I'll study out of the bible, clean up, or watch a show I like that I can't watch any other time of the day. Right now, I really should be studying. Last night's selection is 2 Kings 17 & 18 and 1 Corinthians 1. 2 Kings is about all of the different kings of Judah and Israel, and how terrible most were. The Lord appointed these men (and one woman) over His people, and yet they do so much evil. Their sins manifest over the rest of the land. I think about how the Lord appoint me and Stephan as leaders of our children. Jay and Madison are so young and have so much living to do. It wasn't long ago when I was just like them. It's amazing what the Lord has you go through to prepare you for what's to come. I know that He's been preparing me for when I finally come to Him. That's a given. As for being a parent, everyday I learn something new. How to use patience; when to act; when to sit back and observe; or even how to cook something new that Jay will possibly like. Now that I'll be homeschooling, beginning in less than two weeks, I pray that the Lord allows me to use all of my knowledge and experiences to teach Jay the Lord's word, how to be a good citizen, and basic (and advanced) skills to get him through this life. What. A. Task.

It's one thing to be responsible for yourself. I've been spoiled. It was easy for me to give up on things, because I know that I'd "always" have something (or someone) else to fall back on. I didn't finish college. I have a failed marriage under my belt. All in all, I've done some not-so-noble stuff. So, how in the world can I teach a child to be better than I was? Well, the Lord's grace and mercy brought me this far. And what I've learned about His majesty and His sovereignty in the word has been so encouraging. I was who I was before. But, I am who I am now. His grace and mercy will endure forever, and I know it is through His grace and mercy that I'll be able to instruct Jay in the way of the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 says to Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it. That's the scripture Stephan and I chose for our "school". 

I'm excited about the direction the Lord has in store for Stephan, Jay, Madison, and myself. On September 3rd, we begin a whole new chapter in our lives. What a blessing I know it will be!