Perfectionism...at its worse

September 9, 2013

11:41am

How do you keep your slight case of OCD in check while homeschooling?

Unfortunately, I can't. Throughout the day, I'm constantly cleaning, picking up after the kids, wiping down the board until I can't see anymore dried up flakes of dry-erase ink...the works. In my working space, I like order. I like for things to be presentable and neat. It doesn't get in the way of my parenting, though. I have a six-year-old and an almost-one-year-old. They're going to be messy at times. And, by nature, I'm a junky person, so I get it. I'm just glad that whatever slight compulsiveness I have doesn't not interfere.

Jay, on the other hand, has a slight case of perfectionism. He gets so frustrated when he messes up on a writing assignment, and will wear an eraser down to nothing. I have to remind him that we're still at the beginning of our lessons, and that with time and lots of practice, he'll get it down. He had a spelling pre-test today, just to see where he's at with his knowledge of the given words, and the kid almost had a nervous breakdown because he couldn't spell a word! I felt so bad for him. So, I told him to calm down, say the word slowly, think about all the sounds he heard in the word, and write down the corresponding letters. He wasn't even that far off!

He also has a hard time remaining focus. His former teachers were correct in that diagnosis. There isn't much room for independent study...for now. I don't fault him, though. He's six. I don't expect for him to stay focused the way an adult would. Heck, most adults have a hard time focusing. I'm 27, and...SQUIRREL!

Where was I...oh, yeah. Focusing. You get me. 

The Best Is Yet To Come!

September 7, 2013

9:51am

You want to give up don't you? Don't you?

As I reflect on this past week, I can't help but to be in a state of praise. The Lord has been SO good to my family! So many emotions were felt this week. Let me share a few words of encouragement, reader. If you are a self-professed Christian, and you're not in the word of God, get in it! Starting this new journey with my family was not easy. The old Anesha would've quit after a couple of days in. The old Anesha would have yelled and ridiculed Jay for not understanding a lesson (Yes. I was awful). But, having a relationship with Christ made all the difference in the world. The Lord has changed me. He's prepared me for this. I couldn't understand why I had been going through all these changes, but it all makes sense now.

Next week, we're upping the ante. We will no longer be reviewing lessons he learned in kindergarten. We're headed into  actually first grade work now! Dun dun DUUUUNNNNN! So pray for us, if you don't mind. I'm praying that this will be a productive week. I pray that Jay will learn and retain everything I teach him, and I learn how to properly utilize the patience the Lord has already placed in me.

Monday, September 8th- Day 5.   

The Power In a Cup of Coffee

September 5, 2013

1:30pm

Are you still feeling irritated?

In my previous post, I was feeling a bit blah. There's no logical explanation other than the fact that I'm human. I make mistakes and I have mood swings. Does this excuse my behavior with Jay? Not at all. But, I do recognize that I'll have those days in which I just don't want to do anything. But, then I had a cup of coffee at noon. Not like I normally do at 7:30am. The moment I took that first sip of that French Roasted brew, it got me thinking. Life before this week was pretty straightforward. I was a wife and mom. I handled my wifely duties, while raising my children. In no way, shape, or form was it easy, but I had a pretty good grasp on it. Now, I'm a teacher. A full-time teacher. Deuteronomy 6 says that we are to teach our children at home, while walking outside, going to the grocery store, etc. Yes, I know I'm speaking a bit out of context. In this chapter, Moses is speaking to the new Israelites about the laws and decrees the Lord has given them to follow. Moses is instructing them to teach these commandments to their children "so that we might always prosper and be kept alive". (Deut. 6:24) To me, this means that I need to teach Jay and Madison all that they need to know in order to understand who the Lord is, what He is truly about, what He wants for us, and all that He has already blessed us with. 

My coffee mug. Birthday gift from mom. I love the pun in this, considering I love Marvel comics and my husband wears an Army uniform everyday to work. ;-)

What a burdensome task I've been given. Scary, even. I'd like to think that all I'll ever need to concern myself with is me and my thoughts and actions, but how selfish would that be? Jesus never complained once when He was on that cross. And He gave His life for the trillions of sinners that would come AFTER His time! Could any of us, today, make such a sacrifice? For people like Hitler? Bin Laden? Or even Walt Disney, with his alleged racist self? Absolutely not. But, the least I can do is educate my children. One of Jay's lessons helped me to remember that. The scripture for that lesson is my favorite scripture: Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." That's what it's about. The Lord said "If you love me, keep my commandments". (John 14:15) And, I love Him. I love Him more than I love my children and husband. He's the one who blessed me with my family. There would be no Berry family had it not been for the Lord. 

As I finished my cup of coffee and gave thought to all that I've been blessed with, I was in a much better mood. I've been in prayer all day long, asking the Lord to forgive me for my attitude and to help me work through it. I know that He's answered all of my prayers, because things could've been so much worse. Jay completed all of his assignments within the allotted time frame and followed all of my instructions. The bit of frustration he demonstrated was in response to me. I'm just glad that Jay's learning didn't suffer because of me. That's the power of the Lord's grace! We even wrapped up our day with Arts & Crafts. We made homemade pinwheels! They don't spin though. I had to use straws instead of the dowels the instructions said to use. And because the pushpin went right through the straw, we have to tape the back so we won't prick our fingers. Eh, whatever. We make good use of what we have here! *Lol*

Now, pardon me while I refill my coffee mug...   

Ugh...

September 5, 2013

11:01am

Was today as productive and exciting as the previous days?

Well, it definitely didn't start off ok. Jay was seriously getting on my nerves. I know I said in previous blogs that the kid needs to be able to move and play around a bit in order to feel comfortable, but the adult in me was not trying to deal with all of that today. But, that's the problem with most school officials. It's not the child. It's the adult. We lose our patience when a child "does not cooperate" or meet unrealistic expectations we set for them. Granted, Jay does have to abide by mine and Stephan's rules. But, it'll do me well to remember that the boy is six. I have twenty-one years of life and experience on him and I cannot expect for him to meet me at my level every time. Honestly, at twenty-one years old, I wasn't too far ahead of him in maturity!

In spite of my morning irritation at...I don't know...everything...I've been in constant prayer. Jay had his moments where he'd space out, but I gotta hand it to him. He completed all of his assignments with plenty of time to spare. He still gave me great insight on some of the lessons. And he followed every instruction. The day isn't over, and there's plenty of time for everything to improve, including my attitude. It's still a good day!

One of my homemade sock puppets for our Health lesson in uniqueness. Her name is Terry, and those Atlanta and Baltimore woman ain't got nothin' on her hair!

We All Have Our Days...

September 4, 2013

2:07pm

Was today as great as yesterday was?

Not as great, but definitely not bad. Jay seemed to be a little less interested in today's lessons. But, it's ok! I don't expect everyday to be as awesome as his first day. Stephan and I noticed something about him. Jay functions so much better when he's standing up, shifting in his chair, and fiddling with his pencil. He is a lot more focused when he's busy doing something. He pays attention to the lesson, retains the information, and has tons of insight to contribute. His teachers in public school really didn't give Jay the chance to be...Jay. 

What a bright child Jay is. I knew he was smart, but I had no idea just how smart! Between today and yesterday, Jay demonstrated the exact opposite of what his former teachers used to say about him. I almost feel like I want to march right in that school and shout "YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM A CHANCE!" But, what opportunity is any child given when they're constantly being told "Sit down and be quiet"? I remember when I was in the second grade, Mrs. Colby (a witch of a woman) put me out in the hallway for leaning over to quietly ask my classmate to loan me a sheet of tablet paper. I felt so misunderstood and immediately labeled. Kind of like the scene from the first Harry Potter movie when Harry was taking notes on Professor Snape's opening lecture, and the Professor mistook Harry for not paying attention. He had him "pegged" from that point on. It's hard to shake the prejudice off. Once someone has their mind made up about you, it seems you have to fight tooth and nail to get them to see otherwise. No one wanted to try to understand Jay. Well, with the exception of one teacher, Mrs. Erb. She turned out to be pretty cool. It was just difficult for her to let him do his thing when she had 25 other children in her class. Jay's a visual learner and a doer. Very hands-on and enjoys action. It helps me, because I'm able to gear my lessons toward his preferred style.

Sorry, folks. I'm so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open to type! I'll continue tomorrow. For your viewing pleasure here is a self-portrait of Jay. I expect it'll be worth millions in about 10 years, so I don't mind not receiving monetary compensation for my efforts...for now. *Lol*

What A Day!!!

September 3, 2013

7:17pm

So, how'd it go?

SEND HIM BACK TO PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!!!! Ha! Psych! Folks, I just want to shout to the Lord!!! What a mighty God we serve!!!!!!! Today was such a wonderful day! The Lord moved through this little house! I have NEVER seen my son the way I saw him today! I have NEVER had the patience before that I had with him today! It was a stress-free day, filled with tons of learning! I had no idea that Jay was so insightful! I was so taken aback at his intelligence that I started crying when I told California sister about it! What a major blessing this has been, and it's only the beginning!

I didn't get much sleep last night, considering how excited and nervous I was. I was up about 5am, and the kids woke up not too long after me. We were ahead of schedule, as we were all dressed and downstairs eating breakfast by 7am. Promptly at 7:30, Jay and I were in the living room, holding hands, and saying our morning prayer. We started our Phonics & Reading lesson discussing short vowel sounds. We had such a good time with that lesson! Jay paid full attention to everything I was saying and answered every question correctly. The activity was completed in a timely manner-with time to spare- and before we knew it, it was break time. 

Jay had five minutes to transition and get his Spelling and Vocabulary books. I started the lesson by saying the ten words for this week while he wrote them down. He spelled every word correctly! By the middle of the lesson, we both were getting tired and Madison had awaken from her nap. We finished up the lesson early, so I told Jay to lay down on the couch to rest a bit while I nursed Mad and prepared for the next lesson. Five minutes before math began, I turned on some Daft Punk, got Jay up, and we danced a bit to give us a boost of energy. Oh, boy, did he love that! I gave him a snack, and we got right to work!

After math, Jay ate his lunch, played outside for a half an hour (for those who know me, you already know I can't stand going outside, but I endured it for him. lol), and came back inside to prepare for penmanship. What a blessing that lesson turned out to be! Each week has a theme scripture, and although the student won't actually be writing scriptures until about week seven, it encourages you to discuss the scripture. This weeks lesson happens to be the scripture I pretty much chose to live my life according to: Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." We dissected that scripture and Jay gave such wonderful insight to what that scripture means to him!

We drew circles in the air and on the white board to prepare for properly writing manuscript. After penmanship, we started what was unanimously voted as our favorite part of the day: baking! I'm so glad that I developed a love for baking since moving to Texas. What a great way to incorporate math, science, and safety lessons! Jay had such a great time!

When Stephan came home, he and Jay got started on their 15-minute lesson on plant life. Stephan used the one plant that has not died on me to demonstrate what plants need, the parts of a plant, and other cool little factoids that I never knew. They watched a short video online that went into detail, too. Jay must've really enjoyed having Professor Daddy as his teacher, because that's all he talked about during dinner! 

It was an overall awesome day! I thank the Lord for blessing mine and Stephan's efforts in teaching our son. I just pray that the Lord will continue to bless our family and that Jay will continue to blossom before our very eyes!

Socializing, Schmotializing...

September 1, 2013

10:02am

What about socialization skills?

Bah, humbug! If I get asked this question one more time, my head just may explode! However, I do understand why so many people ask that question. I, briefly, thought about that when I first heard about homeschooling, too. I can remember the days of my parents being contacted by my teachers and principals, or receiving letters from them, about how much I ran my mouth in class. And I talked A LOT! The last thing that was on my mind was that fact that I had less than a week to work on my project that was assigned a month ago and I hadn't even read the instructions. I was gossiping, and laughing, and trying to get the attention of that cute boy in Mrs. So-and-So's class. Once I got to high school, I was so far gone down the social pathway, that I only did the bare-minimum just to get through! I was a star in the biggest organization in the school: The New Millennium Jaguar Marching Band of Charles Herbert Flowers High School in Springdale, Maryland. I started off auditioning for the majorettes (following California sister's and my paternal grandmother's footsteps), but I didn't have the skill. Thankfully, my marching and drilling were so on point, that my band director decided to keep me as a banner girl! Wooo! Lol Eventually, I got tired of the chick who co-banner girl, so I searched for a new position. That's when I re-discovered the trumpet.

I had played in the fourth grade, but you know how it is when you're a child. You want to do a thousand different activities, but you aren't truly passionate about it until you get older. Once I picked up that brass horn, I never looked back. I practiced and practiced, learned to read music, and literally became one of the best players within a few short months. My band director once told me that he had never seen someone master playing an instrument in such short time. That became my focus. Band became my focus. I only tolerated my other classes and performed well enough to make the grades to participate in band. Like I said, I was a star! I had solos, where I'd stand in front of the rest of the band as they marched down the field, I was first chair, was selected two years in a row to perform in the All-County Band, the underclassmen would look up to me, and my best friends were the most popular and skilled musicians in the school! Life did not get any better than this! But, the price of fame came very high. My grades suffered. My teachers were not impressed with me. And, at times, I wasn't even sure I was going to graduate with my class. Thankfully, I did. But, it certainly was touch and go!

I used to think that there wasn't much beyond high school. I tried my hardest to live it up, because I just knew that once I became an adult life would be all work and no play. Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now...and still have those thighs! I wasted so much time by focusing on the wrong things. Socializing was all I was concerned with. I didn't think it meant much to concentrate on my studies then. Who knows where I would've been had I had that sort of work ethic? Maybe I would've graduated from Hampton. Maybe I would've had a pretty decent career. It doesn't make a difference now, because now I'm where the Lord wants for me to be. 

Most parents that I know want their children to learn from their mistakes, including me. It's not because we are insufferable know-it-alls (although I tend to be sometimes); it's just that we want the best for our children. I want for Jay and Madison to have an iron-clad plan when they are ready to graduate. Military, working full-time, college, etc. As long as they have a plan and they follow it through. I understand mistakes are made. Stephan and I will be the first ones to tell you of the mistakes we made. But, the Lord has a plan for us all. Either we remain in alignment with His word, or we struggle and fail over and over again, the latter because the more likely (we are so hard-headed!). 

I want to teach Jay the word of God. I want him to understand why God is so holy and why we should revere Him. I want to teach him the value of education and hard work and focus. When people ask me "What about socialization skills?" I respond by saying "Have you actually met my son?" Lol Jay is the most outgoing and extroverted six-year-old I have ever met! He'll say hello to just about everyone who passes him in the street. And the boy can strike up a conversation with anyone who'll listen. People are so intrigued by him. He's engaging and funny! He has a few very good friends between Texas and Maryland. I'd rather Jay cultivate those relationships with those few kids then to have 30 superficial friendships with the kids he happens to have a class with. So, the argument of placing my child in a public school setting goes out the window. Jay's focus should be, and will be, on his studies first. There will be plenty of time to socialize, but not when it comes to his education. Nobody else is going to learn and retain this information except him. Besides, you can't put "socialization skills" on a resume!