Socializing, Schmotializing...

September 1, 2013

10:02am

What about socialization skills?

Bah, humbug! If I get asked this question one more time, my head just may explode! However, I do understand why so many people ask that question. I, briefly, thought about that when I first heard about homeschooling, too. I can remember the days of my parents being contacted by my teachers and principals, or receiving letters from them, about how much I ran my mouth in class. And I talked A LOT! The last thing that was on my mind was that fact that I had less than a week to work on my project that was assigned a month ago and I hadn't even read the instructions. I was gossiping, and laughing, and trying to get the attention of that cute boy in Mrs. So-and-So's class. Once I got to high school, I was so far gone down the social pathway, that I only did the bare-minimum just to get through! I was a star in the biggest organization in the school: The New Millennium Jaguar Marching Band of Charles Herbert Flowers High School in Springdale, Maryland. I started off auditioning for the majorettes (following California sister's and my paternal grandmother's footsteps), but I didn't have the skill. Thankfully, my marching and drilling were so on point, that my band director decided to keep me as a banner girl! Wooo! Lol Eventually, I got tired of the chick who co-banner girl, so I searched for a new position. That's when I re-discovered the trumpet.

I had played in the fourth grade, but you know how it is when you're a child. You want to do a thousand different activities, but you aren't truly passionate about it until you get older. Once I picked up that brass horn, I never looked back. I practiced and practiced, learned to read music, and literally became one of the best players within a few short months. My band director once told me that he had never seen someone master playing an instrument in such short time. That became my focus. Band became my focus. I only tolerated my other classes and performed well enough to make the grades to participate in band. Like I said, I was a star! I had solos, where I'd stand in front of the rest of the band as they marched down the field, I was first chair, was selected two years in a row to perform in the All-County Band, the underclassmen would look up to me, and my best friends were the most popular and skilled musicians in the school! Life did not get any better than this! But, the price of fame came very high. My grades suffered. My teachers were not impressed with me. And, at times, I wasn't even sure I was going to graduate with my class. Thankfully, I did. But, it certainly was touch and go!

I used to think that there wasn't much beyond high school. I tried my hardest to live it up, because I just knew that once I became an adult life would be all work and no play. Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now...and still have those thighs! I wasted so much time by focusing on the wrong things. Socializing was all I was concerned with. I didn't think it meant much to concentrate on my studies then. Who knows where I would've been had I had that sort of work ethic? Maybe I would've graduated from Hampton. Maybe I would've had a pretty decent career. It doesn't make a difference now, because now I'm where the Lord wants for me to be. 

Most parents that I know want their children to learn from their mistakes, including me. It's not because we are insufferable know-it-alls (although I tend to be sometimes); it's just that we want the best for our children. I want for Jay and Madison to have an iron-clad plan when they are ready to graduate. Military, working full-time, college, etc. As long as they have a plan and they follow it through. I understand mistakes are made. Stephan and I will be the first ones to tell you of the mistakes we made. But, the Lord has a plan for us all. Either we remain in alignment with His word, or we struggle and fail over and over again, the latter because the more likely (we are so hard-headed!). 

I want to teach Jay the word of God. I want him to understand why God is so holy and why we should revere Him. I want to teach him the value of education and hard work and focus. When people ask me "What about socialization skills?" I respond by saying "Have you actually met my son?" Lol Jay is the most outgoing and extroverted six-year-old I have ever met! He'll say hello to just about everyone who passes him in the street. And the boy can strike up a conversation with anyone who'll listen. People are so intrigued by him. He's engaging and funny! He has a few very good friends between Texas and Maryland. I'd rather Jay cultivate those relationships with those few kids then to have 30 superficial friendships with the kids he happens to have a class with. So, the argument of placing my child in a public school setting goes out the window. Jay's focus should be, and will be, on his studies first. There will be plenty of time to socialize, but not when it comes to his education. Nobody else is going to learn and retain this information except him. Besides, you can't put "socialization skills" on a resume!