Life Skills- Swimming

December 16, 2015

8:02 PM

What made you enroll the kids in swimming lessons?

It wasn't my idea.  That came from the magical brain of my mother, the ever-resourceful and skillful one.  Steph and I were still down in Texas packing and the moms had taken the kids back to Maryland.  Well, it was the middle of the summer, and the boy needed something to get involved in. So, my mother calls me up and asks if she could enroll him in swimming lessons.  I didn't really give it much thought, because I was so focused on everything else (my surgery and the news that I was expecting), but I told her yes.  Turns out, it was one of the best decisions.  

I'm not that great of a swimmer.  I remember taking lessons when I was little.  I guess at the time I didn't actually realize I was taking lessons.  I remember yapping about how one of my sisters was a cheerleader at her high school to the instructor.  I barely noticed her counting down from three, then ***SPLASH!!!*** ***GURGLE!!!*** Sheer. Panic.  The instructor pulled me back up and I was shaking from head to toe.  I was mortified!  I think I even peed a little.  Right there.  In the pool.  Shush, because you know you peed in the local pool, too, at some point.  Or maybe in your shower.  Needless to say, my grand Olympic swimming career was o-v-e-r at that point.  Thankfully, the kids don't have to worry about that.  They are naturals.

They take lessons at Kids Swim First Swim School.  We absolutely love it there!  They staff is great and professional.  They even make you feel like family there.  The teachers are very skilled and work well with all of the children.  We even get a nifty little homeschool discount!  Woohoo, discounts!  Jay has been taking lessons for almost a year and a half and has moved up several levels.  Mad started around her 3rd birthday.  They both have adapted to the water with such great ease.  It's really true what is said about how children make the best learners.  It's so important that they do learn a skill so underrated such as swimming.  You never know what type of situation you'll find yourself in.  If you do a simple Google search, you find all kinds of stories of how children accidentally drowned.  Much of the time, it's because they didn't know how to do something as simple as treading water.

According to the CDC website, children ages 1-4 have the highest drowning rates.  Men and boys drown at a rate of four to one.  Most of the people of those demographics were black.  Startling, isn't it?  If, for some reason, Jay and Mad were involved in a situation that required them to utilize those skills, I know that they'd have a fighting chance.  I recommend to all parents to start taking their children to someone's swim lessons.  It could, literally, be the difference between life and death.  If they never encounter a life or death situation, they could at least be the next Michael Phelps.  That means early retirement for you!  Yay, white picket fence and mimosas every morning!

Swimming Lesson Resources

Kids First Swim School

YMCA

American Red Cross Learn-To-Swim  

Madison during her lessons.

*For some reason, I don't have any still shots of Jay during his lessons; only videos. And, of course, I can't embed videos! I'll fix the problem eventually. 

It's Been A Long Time...

December 15, 2015

12:06 PM

Hello, there! It's been nearly two years! How's everything been?

My last entry was published February 26, 2014, Jay's 7th birthday.  In two months, he'll be 9.  9! It's hard to believe.  So much has happened since that last entry.  I had major surgery July, 2014.  Praise God I survived that!  It wasn't anything too serious, but it's surgery.  There's always a chance something could go awry.  Stephan is now a veteran of the United States Army!  His last day was in September, 2014.  What a big transition we had to make going from Texas back to Maryland!  We had lots of help from our family, especially from our moms.  We sent the kids ahead of us with them so we could pack.  That was also the time I had my surgery.  Not four days after my surgery, I discovered something HUGE: I was pregnant!  We had no idea!  We were absolutely thrilled!  Unfortunately, that great news was temporarily set aside at the news of my grandfather's passing in August.  Granddad had been sick for the better part of that year.  It was very tough on our family, considering he was the patriarch.  We missed the funeral, because we were shutting down our life in Texas.  We still miss him and think of him often.

Shortly after sending off our belongings on moving trucks, Stephan and I hit the road.  We drove though Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, Virginia, and right into our home state.  It was lots of fun spending all of that time alone with my hubby.  It was the first time we ever had been together alone for that length of time (nearly three weeks), since we always had Jay with us.  We learned a lot about each other.  After reaching Maryland, we settled down at my mom's house.  

Fast forward to April, 2015.  Miss Abigail Marie Berry made her debut!  She is so precious and sweet!  We were secretly hoping for a boy, but were just as happy when the sonographer told us we were having another girl.  The year 2015 was a year for ups, downs, and changes.  Our family suffered loss, again, this past July.  That was a lot to recover from.  Right around that time, Stephan went back to work.  Most recently, we bought a house!  I mean...wow!  A house!  We also joined a new church!  I love my Fellowship Baptist Church family already! They preach and teach the word! 

Oh, man, I almost forgot.  Yes, we still homeschool!  Jay is now in the third grade (equivalent), doing fourth grade work.  Madison has even started!  She turned three this past September, so she's working on her colors, shapes, numbers, and letters.  I had some anxieties about homeschooling in Maryland, but there's such a large number of homeschooling families, it would be hard NOT to!  There's ton of support and even more daytime programs and activities geared toward homeschoolers.  Jay has been taking swimming lessons for over a year.  He even takes piano lessons, and dabbles on the drumset.  He'll be starting wrestling with the Boys and Girls club next year.  He's really pumped, but we had to explain to him that it's not like the WWE. *Lol*  Madison also takes swimming lessons.  She's a natural!  Totally fearless! 

The Lord has only shown a small portion of His power in our lives over the last two years.  It's been wonderful. It's been challenging.  There were some tough choices that we had to make.  But, throughout it all, I've been faithful.  In no way, shape, or form have I reached where I'd like to be as a follower of Christ, but by the grace of the Lord, I'm moving in the right direction!  

Now that we're finally settled into our lives, and back to our "Texas routine", I'll be posting more often.  I've had a lot of parents message me over the last few years asking about homeschooling and/or working with their children.  If I can help in any way, then that's what I'll do.  Love you guys, and glad to be back!  Until next time...

7

*Late Entry* February 26, 2014

5:33 PM

It's Jay's birthday! He's 7 years old! How has his day been?

Wow. My baby boy is seven-years-old. I'm not even sure how I feel. Turk is seven! Wow! *Lol* Sorry, I'm just still in disbelief. How awesome is our God? These past seven years have been a whirlwind of emotions, changes, ups, downs, and, most of all, growth. Not just for him, but for me also. I am so grateful to the Lord for sustaining us. Jay has gone through moving multiple times, familial changes, changes in educational environment, and becoming a big brother. One would think that he has a pretty raw deal, but the Lord has blessed him with an inordinate amount of patience and understanding. He has done such a wonderful job of finding that proverbial silver lining in every situation, all the while not compromising his true feelings. He's incredibly expressive and has no problem telling me how he feels. Psychologically, it's a good thing, because I want and need to go about what's going on in that peanut head of his. He expresses his feelings and keeps it moving. What a kid. :-)

Jay had a really good day. He woke up to balloons and gifts sitting in the middle of his floor in his bedroom. We doubled up on lessons at the start of the week so he could get the entire day off. In the birthday cards we gave to him, he received "$100" in play money so he could buy all the activities he normally has to work hard to get. He had a speech session early in the day, then we went to the library to check out some new books. We ordered a couple of pizzas and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He ate his chocolate cake and that was that! He had a very simple, but exciting day. He was so appreciative, and I loved the fact that it was just the four of us celebrating together. He also received lots of birthday wishes from family, friends, and Facebook acquaintances. So, for all of you who did, Jay has a message for you:

Jay's Thank You Message

 The birthday surprise we had set up in his room.

 Jay standing with his championship belt and the Hot Wheels wall tracks Dad put up for him. There's actually two, but I forgot to take a picture of it after Stephan put it up.

 My Champ.

Happy Birthday, Turk. :-)

Managing Everyday & Long-Term Financial Challenges As A Homeschooling Family

February 12, 2014

1:40 PM

Since you aren't working, how do you manage your finances?

I think one of the biggest concerns when it comes to parents making the decision to homeschool is what is to be done about finances. I think it's pretty safe to say that most two-parent households have double income, and with double the income, you can seemingly manage your monthly finances easier, quicker, and better...right? Let me be the first to tell you that this notion is a fallacy. Single- or double-income households are no different. It's all about budgeting. Sure, you can indulge in meaningless frivolities when you have more money, but the fact of the matter is you can mismanage $140,000/annually as easily as $40,000. Over the past year, Stephan and I learned a whoooollllle lot about budgeting. God has given great financial wisdom to many of our close relatives, who, in turn, passed that wisdom onto us. We have greatly improved our financial situation since we first moved to Texas. We had to make some tough decisions early on to benefit us later. The following is a list of changes we made to our financial lifestyle. 

1. Create a budget spreadsheet. My mother always told me to "put things in writing" and Dad would tell me to "do the math". Taking my 'rents advice, we came up with our spreadsheet. I first started our budget spreadsheet shortly after Stephan left for basic training in 2011. I spent the next 2 1/2 years detailing and adding so much data to it, that it would probably make most corporate financial managers cringe! This was also the very best decision we made when it came to wanting to take back control of our money and finances. Now that we can literally see what all of our expenses look like, we can go to the next step of planning.

2. Don't create new debt unless you're debt-free or actively chipping away at old debt. This is so difficult for 20-something-year-olds. Students loans, credit cards, car notes; all of these are common for young adults. The problem is that a lot of the time, we take them for granted by a) not worrying about paying it back until much later, b) relying on Mom and Dad to foot the bill, or c) ignoring it altogether. Stephan and I created so much debt in our early twenties and we're paying for it now nearly ten years later. When we got married, we combined our debt and was astounded at how much we were in the red. We new there wouldn't be any room for new credit cards or financing opportunities. 

3. Check your credit reports and FICO scores annually. Credit reports and FICO scores are so important to familiarize yourself with when trying to build up your credit. We started doing this in early 2012 when we knew that we were going to have to buy a car once we moved to Texas. Seeing what was on there also helped us to keep the debt column on our spreadsheet updated. We check ours for free.

4. Learn to live modestly and trim the fat where you can. One of our biggest monthly bills after we moved here was our cable/internet bill. We got a standard cable/internet package with one digital box, but we struggled to pay that bill on time. Eventually, we made the decision to cut our cable completely. We kept the internet, and subscribed to Hulu and Netflix. We were able to slash our total bill by $50. We made adjustments to our auto insurance and made sure we took advantage of all of their discounts. Getting gas was another hassle, because we kept going over budget. To resolve that issue, I got a gift card from the grocery store we go to for gas. Every pay period, I'll load it up with the money we budgeted out for gas and will use it for that purpose only. 

5. Accept responsibility for any mistakes you made and pay up! For me, this was the hardest thing to do. 23-year-old Anesha was so careless and cavalier, and now almost-28-year-old Anesha has to deal with it! But, guess what? It takes seven years for a reported blemish to disappear off your credit report, and who has that kind of time? I'm at a peak time in my life. I have a husband and kids. We want to buy another car soon. When we move back to Maryland, we'll want to buy a house at some point. The only want all of these things can be done is by paying what we owe. It sucks. Big time. But, nobody else is going to pay it and no one will want to give us credit for anything with a splotchy credit history. 

6. Contact your creditors, starting with the one with the smallest debt. As I mentioned earlier, my mom always said to put things in writing. She also always advised me to call up these folks and speak with them so I won't have 800 and 866 numbers blowing up my phones. Whatever is your smallest amount of debt, start by making arrangements to pay that one. Once that is paid off, contact the company and have them send you a letter confirming that the account has been paid in full. After that is done, move on to the next smallest. 

7. Use money given/refunded (i.e. tax refunds) to you toward bills/debt. We are all guilty of blowing through money that is given to us, because we're looking at it like it's extra money to use for leisure. We learned the hard way last year. Stephan and I received a whopping return from our 2012 taxes. Even though we had financial obligations to see to, we thought about our personal wants and needs. A month and a half later, we were in the same place we were before we received our return...but broker. We vowed not to make that same mistake again. This year (using the advice given by my awesome sister and bro-in-law) we used our entire return toward debt! Ludicrous, right? Not at all! The key is to have money go back into what's leftover after your monthly bills are paid. And that's exactly what we did. :-)

8. Create a section on your spreadsheet for savings. When you owe people, it's really hard to save up for something you want. If you see something you want that you just have to have now, then that doesn't make it any easier. The other side of savings is that it's always great to have something set aside for incidentals. Those times you need new tires on your car or your child needs new gear for little league is where savings come into play. What we did was add a section for savings on our spreadsheet. We treat this like a bill so we'll remember that this is something that has to get paid. We budgeted our a certain amount to drop in our savings account every pay period. We don't touch this EVER. We even added a section at the bottom to show our progress. Example: We've saved up $550/$2000 for a down payment for a car. (these figures are hypothetical, and don't reflect our actual savings. Y'all don't need to know all that. *Lol*)

9. Make extra money by selling off what you no longer need. Stephan and I found a baby consignment shop in town, and were able to make a couple of dollars by selling much of Madison's old clothes and furniture/equipment she could no longer use. We even successfully sold old movies and books on Amazon! We used to take our movies to the FYE store at the mall, but they closed it. :-( Garage sales are also a good way to sell off unwanted and unneeded stuff. You can also de-clutter your house while you're at it!

10. Don't forget to do something for yourself. My brother-in-law was the one who told us this. Stephan and I tend to get so caught up in trying to manage every dollar responsibly that we forget that it is OK to do something for ourselves once in a while. After paying off several bills, we bought ourselves a Playstation 4. Ho, boy, was Stephan elated! One weekend out of the month, Stephan will give me a few hours off from my mom duties, so I'll go and get my nails done. Sometimes, we'll take the kids to a movie or go out to eat at a nice restaurant. Whatever we decide to do, we make sure we're enjoying ourselves!

These adjustments are what worked for us. Not everything will work for everyone. Sometimes, you just have to find what works for you, but in the case of debt and other financial responsibilities, keep in mind that stuff has to get paid. By making these changes, we were able to slash approximately $10,000 worth of debt in less than 3 years! God. Is. Good. There are other little tidbits of advice I could share, but I'll keep it at this for now. I hope this helps! 

 We're still keeping up our weekly Black History Month lesson about Garret A. Morgan.

 We created light signals out of construction paper and hanged them in each entryway downstairs. *Lol* It was fun.

 We're still teaching Jay about earning, spending, and budgeting money. He's doing a great job so far!

"I Don't Like Homeschooling..."

February 11, 2014

2:47 AM

You guys are more than 100 days into your homeschooling journey. How is Jay handling the change?

The purpose of my blog is to share my experiences of homeschooling; the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. I don't want to sugarcoat anything, but I definitely want to highlight all the good moments, and give praises to the Lord for every moment. This is the opportunity for me to grow in Jesus Christ and to teach the kids about His character through His word. I have to remain focused on the reason behind of all this. because there are so many things that can distract me during this ongoing task.

Every now and then, I ask Jay how does he feel about learning at home. Lately, the response has been "I don't like homeschooling." *sigh* Of all the backlash I've heard against homeschooling and the snide remarks/comments some have said directly to me, this is by far the most discouraging. I don't care one bit about who says what outside of this residence, but I feel like I am doing something wrong if I receive negative feedback from within these walls. I want Jay to enjoy his experiences here at home. I'll ask him why doesn't he like homeschooling, and his responses range from "I want to go back to Duncan [Elementary]" to "I want to be around my friends." I can totally understand children wanting to be around a bunch of their peers. It's fun, right? I can think back to seven-year-old Anesha, who was a social butterfly at Mattaponi Elementary. All I cared about was playing and yuckin' it up with my buddies. My focus wasn't on schoolwork. Who had time for that? When Mom bought my green denim shorts and matching greenish tie-dye shirt and I got braided extensions, I couldn't wait to show them off! 

Fast forward to high school. Senior year. Producer of the morning show (yep, Flowers HS alum, that was me!), star trumpet player in the marching band, chronic class-skipper; y'know. I was so focus on the social aspect of high school senior life. I applied to one college and felt like I was the stuff because I was accepted into it. I placed absolutely no effort into doing anything, except social and extra curricular activities. I barely passed all of my classes. My parents, my mom in particular, were so frustrated with me. But, I didn't care. I didn't know any better. I didn't see beyond the walls of my high school. That's what I think Jay is experiencing. He wants to be around a bunch of his peers, even though he spends a lot of time with our neighbors' children. This is essentially his only reasoning for wanting to go back. Jay, in his brilliant, albeit, seven-year-old mind doesn't fully understand that, academically, he has learned so much more at home than he has at school. He doesn't remember that his permanent assigned seat was next to the teacher's desk and away from the twenty-five kids that used to tease him, all because he was deemed a distraction to them. Or that he had a hard time completing given tasks, not because he didn't know how to do the work, but because there's so much going on around him, that he couldn't control himself enough to focus. No adult wanted to take the time with him. Jay doesn't know that he was tested for low-spectrum autism (whatever that means), and that, even though it meant absolutely nothing, they staff and teachers would've treated him like some less-than-average special case, when in all actuality he is just as smart and capable (in many cases, more) as any other child.

Jay doesn't know what are the best decisions for himself, just like I didn't when I was younger. And just like my parents when it came to me, I know what's best for my child. I can see changes in him that he may not notice or even realize. After 5 1/2 months of homeschooling, I'd be crazy, and plain old defiant, if I sent Jay back to public school. As much as I loved to give into Jay so he can get what he wants now, I have to do what's unpopular in his eyes. That's what parenting is about, I guess. We have to make unpopular decisions on behalf of our children, because we have been given the ability to look at things from a long-term point of view.

I get questioned often as to how long Stephan and I plan on homeschooling, as if this is just something we're doing just for the time being. Sometimes I just want to respond with "Well, how long do you plan on public schooling your children?" I don't think that would fly too well. But if you, dear reader, must know, we plan on homeschooling our children until they are ready to move on to college, the military, the workforce, or whatever else the Lord has in store for them. But, I can tell you one thing: by the grace of God, we'll have them prepared!

******************************************

This week's Black History Lesson is about Garrett A. Morgan. Jay learned about two of the inventions he was most famous for, and even got to watch a couple videos focusing on those inventions. Tomorrow, we are going to "construct" traffic lights and (with permission) take a look a Daddy's gas mask. Dad will definitely be the one to show him how the mask works since he's the one who uses it. We're definitely having a great time taking in these Black History lessons. :-)

We watched someone's school project that gave some pretty cool factoids about Mr. Morgan.

Keeping It "100"

January 5, 2014

11:51 AM

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

1 Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the Earth!

2 Serve the Lord with gladness!

   Come into his presence with singing!

3 Know that the Lord, he is God!

   It is He who made us, and we are his;

   We are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

   and his courts with praise!

   Give thanks to him; bless his name!

5 For the Lord good; 

   his steadfast love endures forever,

   and his faithfulness to all generation.

Thank you, Lord! Thank you for your grace and mercy! Thank you for giving us the strength and endurance to even begin this journey! There's so much to be thankful for that I cannot possibly fit it all in this one blog! Ladies and gentlemen, today is our 100th day of homeschooling! What a milestone! There's so many reasons for giving the Lord thanks! I barely know where to begin!

Well, let me start by apologizing for not posting yesterday. I've been sick this week (a homeschooling first!) and barely had the energy to keep up our regular lessons. But, by the grace of the Lord, not only has Jay been doing well in his lessons, we've been rolling with the Black History lessons about Harriet Tubman. Monday, we did an overview of who Harriet Tubman was and how she contributed to American history. Yesterday, we went to the National Geographic website and did an interactive journey of The Underground Railroad. That was pretty cool! We discussed some notable abolitionists that provided "depots" and assistance to the passengers of the Railroad. I tell ya, the internet has so many awesome ways to supplement homeschooling lessons.

We were supposed to celebrate 100 days by fixing homemade pizza and baking a cake, but Mom just didn't have the energy. But, I did let Jay play on the Playstation for an hour more than what he paid for. (We're still doing the money thing. It's still working! If you don't know what I'm referring to, please read Homeschooling Hacks, Part 1) He read his library books, and got to catch up on Monday night's episode of WWE's Monday Night Raw.

Today, we're going to fix the pizza for dinner and enjoy cake and ice cream for dessert! We'll cover another lesson about Harriet Tubman and probably will relax. I'm still very tired. Another reason I'm thankful is because the Lord has given me the energy, courage, and dedication to get up every morning, fix my children breakfast, and complete 4-6 lessons everyday! Early on, you never know what he has planned for you. Thinking back on the person I used to be, I would've never guess that by the time I reach my late-20s, I'd be doing all the things I'm doing now. I love the life the Lord has given me. I love Him even more for equipping me with the strength, dedication, and wisdom to live it. 

Black History Month Kick-Off!!!

February 3, 2014

1:53 PM

It's the month of February! What exciting events do you have planned for this month?

Man, this is a jam-packed month full of awesome educational opportunities and fun! This month is Black History Month, and Stephan and I will be teaching Jay about four historical figures each week. This week we're learning about Harriet Tubman. Jay will watch videos about her, color pictures, learn about the different connecting Underground Railroads, and more! Next week, we'll talk about Garrett A. Morgan, then Dr. Charles Drew, and then close out the month learning about my favorite singer of all time- Stevie Wonder. This is going to be so exciting!

Tomorrow, we celebrate 100 days of homeschooling! I want to get into everything that I have planned, but I'll save that tomorrow's blog. I'm so excited!!! We will probably learn the history of Valentine's Day, but that's something I need to read into myself. I've acknowledged the holiday for 27 years, and the most I know about it is that you give candy hearts with little messages on it to someone you have a crush on. Well, considering I've been married for nearly three years, I don't feel it necessary to do that. Besides, I tell my honey I love him everyday...and I cook him three square day everyday. Isn't that enough? *Lol* We will celebrate President's Day, and will focus on the strides black people made under various presidencies, and, yes, even though I don't agree with many of his policies, we will talk about President Obama! We'll talk about President Lincoln and the abolition of slavery. I want to talk about General Washington, but I don't think it'll be appropriate to tell my almost seven-year-old that homeboy had like hundred slaves and even had a bunch of kids by him. We'll discuss it eventually, but only when he's older. *Lol* Speaking of my almost seven-year-old...

February 26th. My 4', 63 lbs. "baby" will be seven. *sigh* Where did the time go? I don't even know what else to say. I get so overcome with emotion, because God has been so good to us! Jay has made so much progress and I couldn't be more proud and more honored that the Lord chose me to be his mother! there won't be any big celebrations with friends or anything like that. Instead, Stephan and I want to take him to the planetarium that isn't too far from here. We also want to take him on a tour of Austin, and get out of this town for once. There's also a zoo in Waco that we think he and Maddy would like. On top of all of that, WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment for those of you who aren't too familiar with this company. Yes. All four of us are HUGE fans.) will be coming back to Waco in March and I reeeeaaaaallllllyyyy want to go again this year! We went last year and had such an awesome time! We saw the return of The Undertaker! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! Their untelevised house shows are super-awesome, because you never know who is going to show up! We took six-year-old Jay and five-month-old Madison to a show to watch men and women fight. They loved it. *Lol* I know, I know. Just awful...

Yes. We were live and present at this particular show!!!

What an eventful month we have coming up! Keep checking back, because I'll be posting as often as I can!